How to host a Friendsgiving potluck
Friendsgiving is a potluck with one fixed point: somebody has to cook the main dish, and it's usually the host. Everything else is shared, which is why it goes wrong in one predictable way, with five desserts and no vegetables. A dish list sent early fixes most of it.
Friendsgiving checklist
6 weeks before
- Draft the guest list
- Book the venue, or confirm the space at home
4 weeks before
- Send invitations
- Choose the menu
3 weeks before
- Share the dish list so guests can pick what to bring
2 weeks before
- Chase RSVPs from anyone who hasn't replied
7 days before
- Lock the headcount
- Collect allergy and dietary notes
- Buy decorations and non-perishables
- Draft the party-day run of show
3 days before
- Fill any gaps in the dish list
1 day before
- Send guests parking and arrival details
- Buy perishables and ice
- Set out serving spoons, labels and takeaway boxes
Party day
- Set up décor and the space
2 days after
- Send thank-you notes
- Share photos with guests
Add your date, guest count and budget and get this checklist with real due dates, plus a menu that respects dietary needs.
Plan mine freeHow to split the budget
A typical split for a Friendsgiving, shown for 20 guests and a $150 budget. The percentages hold at any size, and the budget calculator splits your own number.
| Category | Share | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Drinks | 35% | $50 |
| Plates & supplies | 25% | $35 |
| Host's own dish | 20% | $30 |
| Decorations | 10% | $15 |
| Buffer | 10% | $20 |
Party-day schedule
A 3-hour party starting at 4:00 PM.
- 3:00 PMSet up the space and décor
- 3:45 PMFinal walk-through, music on
- 4:00 PMGuests arrive, dishes go on the table
- 4:30 PMFood
- 5:30 PMGames and dessert
- 6:30 PMPack up leftovers and goodbyes
- 7:00 PMParty ends, start clean-up
Shopping for 20
- Plates30 plates
- Cups60 cups
- Napkins60 napkins
- Drinks60 cans or bottles
- Ice2 × 10 lb bags
- Trash bags2 bags
Tips from the plan
- Share the dish list three weeks out
- List what the table needs, not just a headcount: sides, a vegetable, bread, desserts, drinks. Let each guest claim one so the gaps show up early.
- Take the main dish yourself
- The host's own dish is about a fifth of what you'll spend. It also means the one thing that has to be hot and on time doesn't travel.
- Fill the gaps three days before
- Look at what nobody claimed and cover it yourself or ask one reliable friend. Three days is enough to shop for it.
- Set out spoons, labels and boxes
- Guests bring dishes, not serving spoons. Put out spoons, a label for each dish with what's in it, and takeaway boxes for the leftovers.
Questions
How do I organise a Friendsgiving potluck?
Send the invite with a dish list about three weeks ahead and let guests pick what to bring. Chase replies at two weeks, lock the headcount a week out, fill any gaps three days before and shop for your own dish and the drinks the day before.
What should the host provide at Friendsgiving?
The main dish, the drinks, and everything the food is eaten off: plates, cups, napkins, serving spoons and ice. Drinks are the biggest line at about 35% of what the host spends, with plates and supplies around 25%.
How much food do I need for Friendsgiving?
With a potluck the dish count matters more than the quantities. One dish per household that feeds eight to ten usually covers a table of twenty, as long as the list is balanced between sides, vegetables and desserts.
What time should Friendsgiving start?
Late afternoon works well for a three-hour gathering: dishes go on the table as guests arrive, food is served half an hour in, and dessert and games follow about an hour later.